The Wild Card

Much of our psychological stress comes from worrying about the unknown.  Occasionally, it is important to give yourself permission to allow room for the wild card, the unknown, the chance that good things might happen for no reason at all, that things will work out. This would mean that you don’t have to be the general manager of the universe. You don’t have to fix everything. It is easy to imagine all the negative things that can happen, but remember, things could also turn out just fine. Give equal time to imagining that, too. Every now and then, it’s OK to just rest and give some situations time to untangle themselves.

One You

You only get one You. While I like to compare my body to a garden, a car, or a well-oiled machine, it’s not. The difference is, if I don’t take care of my car, I can get another one. If I let my garden go to weeds or find out that the soil is all rocks and salt- I can go and garden somewhere else. But my body? This is all I get.  It’s more like having one car all your life; only one garden in one place- and the climate that comes with it. There are no new car lots at which to cash in or trade up, no farmer’s market to substitute for the tilling and planting you have to do yourself. That’s the body. 

The View

I went in to work facing mountains of paper and lists of things to do. It was an avalanche waiting to crush me. I sat in a chair, staring straight ahead. I started to work on a small piece of it. It felt like trimming the toenail of a giant I could not conquer. 

I went home to another range of mountains. This time, many were posing as harmless crops and fields to be cultivated for the proverbial greater good or a seemingly worthy cause.  But, I thought, All of this is killing me, slowly, deliberately, one stressful toxin at a time. I could feel myself suffocating, sweating; headache and exhaustion from the thought of it; fear of a new mountain pushing its head up through a volcanic floor. I needed to move away from the mountains, or move the mountains away from me, or close the admissions window to all new mountain-creating customers.

Tree House: The Next Generation

How much of our stressful culture do we pass on to our children? I question that children always do what we say- but they definitely do what we do. I have often seen myself unintentionally following the patterns of my parents. I’m sure that I am passing information on to my own children as well, but I don’t know which messages are getting through.

In 2006, I built a tree house with my son. I did this because I traveled extensively and I wanted him to remember us doing something together. I also did this because I didn’t want him to perceive his mom as a mad woman who was forever stressed out, always running to save everyone’s world but her own.

At the time, he was about 9 or 10 and I was looking for a project that would engage us both. I have wanted a tree house since I was a girl. As an adult, I secretly bought a book, Tree Houses You Can Actually Build (by David and Jeanie Stiles, 1998). The most telling information it revealed was that tree houses are as unique as the trees they are built in and the people who build them. It was full of pictures. I dusted it off and handed the book to my son. He sounded like me 40 years ago. “Mom, these are sooo cool! Can we build one?” I told my husband that we were headed off to the hardware store to get materials. His response was brief: “I had a tree house once. It was a plank balanced on a couple of branches about 20 feet up in a tree that I climbed every day.” Back then there were no child safety laws; you just looked down and knew not to slip.

Road Signs

Business travel is an interesting thing. For those of us who travel extensively, it is clear that business travel and leisure travel are very different events. The difference is the stress level. An overload of working business travel can make you feel like you are forever being pulled away from home and rest. For longer trips, you learn that the world will not wait while you are gone, and unfinished personal projects will freeze where you left them.

Rather than focus on the difficult side of travel, I have elected to see the trip as a part of the bigger picture that brings me closer to my goals- whatever they may be. I choose to bring meaning to each trip I take, looking for a new sign or lesson along the way. Any moment can have a subtext with different levels of meaning among the signs and hidden messages. Of course, sometimes a glass of water is just a glass of water, but the trip definitely becomes more interesting.

Rest! A good thing.

It’s Friday! When was the last time you  had a whole weekend to yourself? (Saturday AND Sunday?) Rest is a good thing. Plan for it. Make sure you get yours! Rest is your Friend....

Sharing Perspectives- Balancing Insights

Hello Blog Fans,

I’m back- And yes, I did change the name of my blog to Balancing Insights because I did finally “finish something!” The e-book is called Stress Less: 10 Balancing Insights on Work and Life, and the website is called www.BalancinfgInsights.com, and the Facebook page is up. (Feel free to applaud.) 

What did I learn? I talk a good story- but it really is hard to follow through with so many irons in the fire… while writing a book about following through, saving yourself, and lowering your stress level- with so many irons in the fire. I just want others to know- you are not alone. We can all share ways to lower our stress levels and live longer, happier, healthier lives. Feel free to write in. 

I Said "Yes" to Me!

I love the holidays, but as November was approaching, I began to see the stress associated with them and my frustration level began to grow. It’s not the turkey and holiday candy that gets to me, but all the outside activities that keep my calendar full- in a very exhausting way.

Every self-help book in the world insists that we all have choices. I felt the need to exercise mine. I notice that I have a higher tendency to say “yes” to everyone who approaches me during this time of year.  (Oddly, I’ve convinced myself that I do it in the interest of giving back during the holiday season). So, what will be different?

Changing Keys

I’ve played piano for years and was asked to accompany a special presentation of the church choir. They did songs I know, but they chose to sing them in a different key than I was used to. To those who don’t have a musical background, this means that I had to play the same songs I knew- differently. This would allow the choir to sing the song higher or lower, using different tones than they otherwise would. When I started to play, my hands wanted to go where they always go... but the key was different, so I had to think and play differently. I know that I could have easily complained and the group would have obliged and followed me back to the same old sound, however, I had to admit that the key change made the same old song sound fresher and brighter with a new message for a new day.

So, I chose to change.

The Power of The Routine

When I think how I completed my high school diploma or my scant knowledge of biology, it occurs to me that I didn’t acquire it all in a day. It took years of repetition, learning something here, reading something there, a little at a time until I completed the course. I walked to school Monday through Friday, rain or shine. Once I got there, they would teach us one more thing. Whether dull or exciting, Latin root words or frog dissection, at the end of the day, great or small, something was done. Over the Fall season, a class was completed and I had a basic knowledge of the English language, or the anatomy of amphibians. After twelve years of this, I received a piece of paper indicating that I had the audacity to finish something, and was probably qualified to go on to finish other things in life.

Today, when I list all the goals I want to accomplish, the list seems long and daunting. But then I remember, some of my best accomplishments were completed in small consistent steps, like a class.

Stuck? Do Anything!

Ever have so much to do that you’re paralyzed? Just staring straight ahead at the mountain of things awaiting your attention? To do nothing seems like certain death- to do everything at once is impossible… Answer? Do anything! Pick something- a corner, a small 15 minute task, and start. It may not be the big problem that haunts you most, but the load is lighter even if you shake off a few ounces.

Welcome to My Blog!

Welcome to my blog. We'll see what evolves...