How much of our stressful culture do we pass on to our
children? I question that children always do what we say- but they definitely
do what we do. I have often seen myself unintentionally following the patterns
of my parents. I’m sure that I am passing information on to my own children as
well, but I don’t know which messages are getting through.
In 2006, I built a tree house with my son. I did this
because I traveled extensively and I wanted him to remember us doing something
together. I also did this because I didn’t want him to perceive his mom as a
mad woman who was forever stressed out, always running to save everyone’s world
but her own.
At the time, he was about 9 or 10 and I was looking for a
project that would engage us both. I have wanted a tree house since I was a
girl. As an adult, I secretly bought a book, Tree Houses You Can Actually Build (by David and Jeanie Stiles,
1998). The most telling information it revealed was that tree houses are as
unique as the trees they are built in and the people who build them. It was
full of pictures. I dusted it off and handed the book to my son. He sounded
like me 40 years ago. “Mom, these are sooo cool! Can we build one?” I told my
husband that we were headed off to the hardware store to get materials. His
response was brief: “I had a tree house once. It was a plank balanced on a
couple of branches about 20 feet up in a tree that I climbed every day.” Back then
there were no child safety laws; you just looked down and knew not to slip.
